Episode 12 – Lessons From Having Covid
By Sidney DeCamella
September 29, 2021

Every hard thing we go through in life is meant to teach us something. It’s up to us whether we choose to learn from it or not. Contracting Covid is no different. My personal experience with this virus was extremely dark. I went to places in my mind that I never would have expected and even told my family I was ready to die. I actually said that!?!?! Me! The girl with the Inner Tiger Podcast. 

It was a very strange and unexpected encounter for me but I survived and am here to share what I learned, which is incredibly powerful! It’s a message of strength and victory, not fear. In the end, fear NEVER wins. 

As with all of my traumatic experiences, I’m so glad I went through it so that I could live to tell the story… and ultimately help others.

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Episode Transcript

Welcome to the My Inner Tiger podcast. I’m your host, Sidney DeCamella. I’m also a wife, mother, master life coach course creator and spiritual Sherpa. Over the past few years, I have overcome extreme anxiety, depression, addiction, infertility and chronic illness. And as a result, I’ve made it my life’s mission to teach other women like you, that no matter what battle you’re up against, you have an inner tiger, a power within to create and manifest whatever your heart desires. If you are tired of being a victim and ready to be boss of your life, you have come to the right place. Each episode, I’m going to share tools, teachings, and techniques I have used and taught countless other women so that together we can create a life beyond our wildest dreams. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your inner tiger is just waiting to be unleashed. I’m so happy. You’ve tuned in. Let’s get started.

Hello, beautiful souls. And welcome back to the My Inner Tiger podcast. This is a new episode that is just me this time. For the last several it’s been me interviewing a guest. So it feels good to just be sitting here at my desk, by myself, staring out the window and talking about something I’m really passionate about, which today is my experience with COVID. This episode is about what having COVID-19 was like for me, what it particularly was like for me emotionally and spiritually, because that was the hardest part and how I finally actually made a shift and got out of the darkness that I was so deep in while sick with the virus. So I think this is so important, not just for anyone who is dealing with COVID, but if you’re ever in a really dark place in your life where you feel like someone has just turned the lights off and you can’t seem to turn them back on and all of the tools that you were used to using and the methods for getting you out of the space aren’t working, what do you do?

And I found myself there and I was shocked after everything I’ve been through with my kidneys, how I was actually there in that place. And I didn’t understand it. And I was really feeling like I was really losing my mind. And I probably did. But it was not me. It and you will learn more about that in the podcast. So without ruining any more of this for you, I want to dive right into this episode. It’s really, really powerful. It’s directly from my heart and extremely vulnerable and authentic, and I hope that you can feel the energy and the power behind the message that I have today. So love you and enjoy. Hello. I have been really looking forward to sitting down at my desk at this microphone and recording this episode. I’ve probably been thinking about it for, well, definitely not probably been thinking about it and what I’m going to say in this for over four weeks.

So this is really important to me. This is going to be everything I have learned from my COVID experience. So I think the best way to start is by just diving in to tell you a little bit of background about when I got COVID and some details about that. So I was first diagnosed on August 15th, 2021. I got it from my husband who knows where he got it from, but I was, I actually went to stay at my mother’s house to ride this thing out. Because originally when my husband had got the virus, we found out I took the baby and we went to my mom’s and we were there for like three or four days until I started coming down with symptoms. And about that time my husband started feeling a little bit better. He actually did. COVID pretty darn well.

I think all of his symptoms only lasted like just over a week. So he was able to take the baby, which was great. My mom was able to take care of me and I don’t really know what I would’ve done without her. It was a very hard experience for me. And I’m going to talk a lot about that. So pardon my voice, you guys. I still have a little bit of a cough and some other symptoms and am still dealing with it for over four weeks. So that’s fun. And okay. So I was with my mom and COVID hit me really hard. Now I know that COVID hits most people pretty hard. There are some people who get pretty lucky but I don’t know if it was my kidney failure situation or what, but I got it really bad and it just, it felt like a really, really, really bad flu that just would not go away.

And I was very, very, very sick constantly for, for two weeks. I would say after about two weeks, I finally started having a turnaround on some symptoms. So let’s back up a little bit. I don’t want to be too all over the place here. I was throwing up. I had a lot of fevers. My body ached. I was just so incredibly weak. And did I say I was throwing up? Sorry, my brain still isn’t working. So bear with me. I was throwing up a lot, which I don’t think is really common for most people. I don’t really know what that was all about. But what I want to really highlight here is yes, it affected my body tremendously, but the hardest part of COVID for me was how it felt spiritually and emotionally, mentally. That was incredibly dark.

Now this is coming from someone who has beat kidney failure, still beating it started an entire business and a brand called My Inner Tiger around how to find your inner strength through trials and tribulations and, you know, your higher self and tapping into the power within you to get through anything that you’re faced with. This virus knocked me on my ass. I had thoughts of suicide, well, not really thoughts of suicide as if I would go forward with killing myself. It was, it was actually more along the lines of I’m ready to go. And the fear of dying, which I’d moved past. I’ve done a lot of work on this fear of dying thing. And after I almost died a couple of years ago, I sort of felt like I had really moved past the fear of dying. And you know, I mean, so when I had COVID, I, I can’t say that I was spinning a lot of time, just being very, very afraid of dying.

I just was disappointed thinking like I might die and I’m not ready. All I could think about was my son and my future children. And I just couldn’t, I was angry. I was just so angry. I was angry. I was afraid. I had an incredible amount of doubt, doubt in my faith, doubt in myself, doubt in my ability to heal doubt in My Inner Tiger. I was deathly concerned for my kidneys. I had no idea what this virus was doing to them. And I, all I could think about as well was what if I end up back on dialysis, that would just be the worst thing in the world. And then to layer that I was terribly afraid of just thinking about that, because I know that our thoughts are so powerful and the fact that I couldn’t get that ruminating thought out of my head, that I could end up back on dialysis and visualizing and seeing all the people in the clinic and seeing what it looked like.

And I was just so frustrated and angry with myself that I couldn’t stop thinking about that. Meanwhile, I have so many amazing friends who are reaching out to me. They’re saying things like, you know, keep your faith, stay in the light. Do all the things. And they’re amazing. And, and everything that they were saying was absolutely true and things I would have said to someone but I was. I was about that because I was so far in the darkness that all my tools weren’t working. I mean, you know, I feel like I’ve got this great toolbox, because I’ve come so far, I’ve been here before, right. And it’s like, nothing was working. And I was mad at God. And I was like, it just felt like someone came in and turned off. All the lights turned off, all my lights.

It was awful. And I was stuck at my mom’s house, nothing wrong with my mom’s house, but it wasn’t home. I wasn’t really able to spend and have energy and, you know, play with my son. He did come over to visit a couple times because he didn’t have COVID and he was clearly immune to it at the time. So, you know, it was so incredibly dark. And what I want to highlight here is that we’re all capable of coming in this place. And I don’t say that to scare anyone by any means. And it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. That’s a big message I want to get across. Is that going through this darkness? You know, I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. It doesn’t mean that you always are going to be able to feel better, no matter what tools you pull out, no matter what scripture, no matter what you know, how deep or deeply you try to meditate, how deeply you try to just pull out all the stops, the gratitude, the, you know, the things and they don’t work.

And when they don’t work, it gets very terrifying. And it also makes you feel like something’s wrong with you. Like, maybe you’re just not as spiritual as all your friends, you know, maybe they’re spiritual and you’re just a fraud, right? Cause you can’t get out of this. Your whole business is a fraud. Your whole podcast is a fraud. Who are you? These are the voices that I had in my head constantly. And it was literally torture. I can remember just having temper tantrums. My mom was getting a little concerned. My mom did eventually get COVID by the way. And she’s doing well. She’s, you know, it was really hard for her as well. So I don’t want to discredit that or undermine that at all. I felt awful that I gave it to her, but she kept saying, I knew what I was getting into.

I think maybe she wanted it to gain natural immunity, but nonetheless we both survived and we’re good. I don’t say any of this to make you afraid. It probably feels that way. If you have not had COVID yet, or if you have, or maybe if you’re just afraid of getting it for the first or second time, or however many times, I do not want this message to create fear. The world is doing a really, really good job of creating fear in us. I’m simply just sharing my own personal experience. I do know others who have had a very similar experience because I believe that this virus is not just a physical thing. I think it’s also a very spiritual thing. And in case you don’t know, it’s a man-made virus, it was created in a lab, it is patented and the energy behind it, the intention and the energy behind those that were responsible for creating this virus was very negative.

Very, I don’t know if I want to use the word evil, but yes, definitely evil. It’s not, you know, so therefore just foundationally this virus is going to impact us in ways that we can’t see with the naked eye. Okay. So it is incredibly unlike me to feel like I’m ready. You know, I’m just, I’m just ready to die. I’m ready to just give up on everything. I said that out loud to my family. And so that tells me right there, even though I didn’t fully recognize it in the moment that this is something outside of myself now, I also had some energy work done, a very, very, very powerful energy session done with my friend, Valerie, that really took me to, you know, places just outside of this reality during the session. And that was incredibly powerful. But even after that, I still felt this darkness and it wasn’t until I went to a so I had a craniosacral appointment, which I won’t get into what that is, but it’s a, it’s a session where they manipulate the fluid in your body.

And it does a lot of things. Anyway, we’ll talk about that in another podcast, but I had a craniosacral session with her and she also was certified in body code. So without getting too much into body code, here’s really what went down. She was doing the craniosacral session on me and she was talking to me about how we have our own internal physician inside of us. And, and that you can actually talk to your body and ask it questions. Now, this is something that, of course I have heard of and I’ve done before, but at the moment it felt very like it was going to be very effective. And so I started asking my body questions and one of the questions I asked was directed toward COVID. And I said, COVID, what do you need from me to leave my body? And the answer was your soul, your soul, you creepy.

Right? So after I said that, I said, well, you are never going to have my soul. And then I said, I did like a little saying where I took back my sovereignty. So I took back my sovereignty, which is so key and so important because we are all sovereign and nothing has the power over us, and nothing can take our soul. After that, my body code practitioner kind of put a pause on the craniosacral. And she said, I’m going to do a little bit of body code and muscle test for entities. So she did. And she found three entities that were attached to me, meaning like dark entities and then one hooded entity, which apparently there’s hidden entities and hooded entities, which are like even more hidden than hidden, right? They’re like the darkest. And so she did a little energetic removal of all of those, and it wasn’t until leaving that session that I actually finally felt an energy shift, just a little shift, like just like someone, you know, removed the very dark cloud that was over me, a powerful experience.

And I’m sure it was a combination of everything that had been doing, you know, my energy session prior to that plus this removal, but like that the entity removal actually completely gave me the shift. I could feel that my physical and emotional and spiritual body makes sense. So interesting stuff, interesting stuff. And I love talking about this stuff, but I can tell you, it was not at all fun to live through and to walk through. So after that session now, I can’t say that after that session, I felt amazing. I absolutely did not. It was still very sick. This was about maybe just over two weeks after I’d had COVID or gotten diagnosed with COVID that this all went down. And so then that night I decided that I was going to, no matter how I felt I was going to wake up the next morning and go to the beach and do my meditation.

Now, this is something that I do on a somewhat regular basis, which I hadn’t done at all since I’d been sick with COVID. In fact, I want to point out that I was not able to meditate at all during COVID, which was incredibly frustrating. It was just nearly impossible. I just couldn’t do it. I was too sick. And so I decided to go to the beach that next morning and do a meditation. So I drug myself out of bed, which let me tell you, it was so hard. I felt awful. I mean, I probably had a slight fever still, you know, it was getting very, very low fevers in the early mornings in the evenings. I still kind of do actually. But that’s another story. So I decided to get up and make myself go to the beach because whenever I do that, I know that I meet God there.

It happens every time and some really magical things always happen for me. So I knew that my body was craving this experience at the beach. So I go to the beach and I, and I meditate out there. So I went and I had such an incredible breakthrough. This was what really changed everything. So I had the shift in the body code that I could feel, but this meditation brought me back to life. I felt my energy. Again, I felt the light again. I felt empowered again, and it was just such confirmation of how it’s always there. We are sovereign and our light is always there. And sometimes we go through these experiences, these dark experiences, because there’s something we need to learn. There. There’s something we need to learn for whatever reason, whether it’s to just learn something within yourself or learn it in order to teach others.

And I have learned so much from the COVID experience and I’m still learning. I’m still very much in the learning process with it. So what I want to do now is share a little audio with you. This is a voice memo that I created on my way back from the beach that day. And it’s not. So it’s only a few minutes long and the quality is not that great. Because I was just recording it as I was driving and I was very sick, so I don’t sound great. And, and it’s, you know, again, the quality is not great, but I recorded it for myself so that I could remember what I wanted to say on a podcast on my next podcast. And as I was listening back to it today before hitting record, just now I was writing down all of the things that I was telling myself I wanted to say, and it just was like, it didn’t have the fire behind it.

Didn’t have the initial power behind it that it had when I was recording it. So what I’ve decided to do is share the actual recording with you. Now, keep in mind, I’m saying I’m, I’m talking to myself. So the voice memo is me saying, here’s what you need to say on the podcast. Right. But instead, I’m just going to share it directly. So this was not at all intended to be shared with the public. So, but I do think that it’s so powerful the way just the energy behind it in the moment. So I’m going to share that with you right now. And then I will be back on here to talk a little bit more about it. Enjoy

Podcast, title, something like change your energy, change your life or lessons from COVID. So talk about COVID and how I felt during COVID and the experience with what’s her name, where I had the entities, and then just all the fear, the fear and the doubt and the concern for my kidneys and just the energy that I was walking in, and then making myself get up and go to the beach and do a meditation, trusting that the meditation was the right one for me. And in the meditation, you focus on the space and awareness. And then we focused on our future self. And when we change our energy to focus on our future self, rather than our past self or the self that we have been walking, feeling and being, which is made up of fear and doubt, dread sadness, anger, depression, fear, it’s all fear.

We can actually change our lives. We can actually make a difference and it feels when you’re in it, it feels impossible. And when you start talking about changing your energy or changing your, the way you see things or changing and becoming in a different state, it feels impossible. It feels woo. It feels wacky. It feels like it’s for all of the other people who know how to do this, but for you, it’s impossible. And that’s what it feels like to be stuck in 3d reality, which is not real. We are able to tap into the quantum fields. We are able to tap into something higher than this 3d reality. That is where we find freedom. That is where we find relief, change, progress, shifts, major shifts. And how do we do that? How do we get there? When it feels impossible? Meditation. And I will put the meditation and the show notes, and it’s work. You guys, it’s work.

You don’t wake up and all of a sudden feel better. It’s work. It’s doing the work. Just like you. Don’t lose a bunch of weight and get in shape just by doing nothing. Just waiting for it to fall off. You have to do the work you have to exercise. You have to change your eating habits. It is no different. And I wish I had better news for you. I wish there was a magic pill. I’ve always wished there was a magic pill, but there’s not, there’s not. It’s called pushing yourself. It’s called growth. It’s called commitment. It’s called doing things that you don’t want to do. But the thing is the power on the other side, the power on the other side of commitment, doing the things you don’t want to do is worth more than its weight in gold. It is worth every single tired morning. It is worth all of it’s work. 

And sometimes I wonder if I’m just inherently lazy, you know, I don’t have anything to compare myself to. I only know what it’s like to be me. You know, but what I do know is from experience, the more you commit to doing these things, the more you commit to making a difference in changes, the more you push past those really hard days of resistance, the easier it gets.

And at some point you actually start to look forward to it, despite your circumstances. As I’m recording this, my body is still recovering from COVID. But what’s interesting is that before the meditation I just did, I lived there. All I could think about was how I haven’t pooped in five days, how my lungs still have fluid in them, how I was still weak and how my back hurts. And I’m freaking out that it’s my kidneys thinking about the labs I got in the hospital that showed that my kidneys were not good. Thinking about all of those things was consuming me.

So I hope that you felt some part of the power that I felt as I was recording it because when I was recording it, I just felt like my whole body was vibrating. It was just a very energetically charged period for me that I won’t actually ever forget. It was a major, just the major turning point for coming back to life, sort of what it felt like. So there’s so much power in changing your energy and focusing on your future self rather than your past self. Now I’m not saying this is something that you can always do in every moment. I couldn’t get there. I couldn’t get there when I was really sick. When I was in the thick of the darkness, in the valley of the shadow of death, right? Like in the dark night of the soul, I couldn’t get there and that’s okay.

But when the time was right and I actually made myself do the work, I made myself get out of bed and go meditate because I know the power in it. When I, when I physically could, it changed everything. And the big aha moment I had then was focusing on your future self, taking the blame and all, not really the blame, but all of the attention off of your current circumstances and putting them on the future on where you want to be and who you want to be. And the thing is, it works like magic. You can’t really comprehend it with your brain on how this works, because you may be listening to this podcast and thinking like, okay, great. That sounds all great for you, but your mind can’t comprehend. It. It’s an experience. You have to do it to experience it. So I guess the lesson and the takeaway here is if you’re in a very dark place, if you’ve been in a very dark place and you have the ability to tap into your future self through meditation is, you know, the best way to do it, to tap into your energy, to tap into God’s essence universe, his essence, the source of who you are, where you’re, where you are, come from the creation of everything.

That’s where all of the power and all of the energy is. And you can find your sovereignty there. You can reclaim it. And then eventually you will start to feel better. You know, our physical body is the most dense of all of our bodies. We have our emotional body or our spiritual bodies, our mental bodies, and it’s our physical body. That is the most dense. It takes the longest to catch up, but eventually it does. And that’s a big message that I have for healing your body in general. That’s, you know, that’s the framework for healing. My body I’ve healed from the inside out. I healed spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and my physical body is slowly but surely catching up. It’s so beautiful. So when you feel lost and you feel completely down and you feel like there’s no hope, get your butt out of bed and go meditate.

And if you don’t know how to meditate, start practicing it because the first time you do it, isn’t going to, you know, isn’t always wonderful. It can be very hard at first. It can be, but make it a daily practice. And I don’t do it daily. You know, I love to say like there’s periods in my life where I do it daily, but reality is I have a child. I have a business I’m trying to heal my body at. We have a lot going on in this household. I can’t always do it, but I know that when I make sure I make it a priority, everything in life is so different and beautiful. So that’s the message I have for you today. And I also want to tell you again, do not be afraid of COVID COVID is a nasty, nasty virus, but there’s also a 99% survival rate.

Okay. And I’m not here to preach about vaccines or no vaccines. I’m not vaccinated. I I’m, I don’t trust the vaccine, but that’s a whole other story. I do not judge anyone who has it, but I don’t feel like it’s right for my body and I won’t get it. And I believe in the immune system now I have natural immunity and I think that’s what my mom was going for as well. Natural immunity is the best immunity. And if you do get sick, it’s very important. You follow a protocol. The protocol in the hospital is largely what is actually killing people. Unfortunately, it’s just, our health system is nasty and we cannot, we cannot trust it. It does not take into account the real human body and everyone’s different chemistry and how the body actually has its own way for healing itself called your immune system and various other things.

And also there are herbs and there are supplements out there. This beautiful earth has provided us with amazing herbs and supplements, supplements that we can take to help move our bodies along. Okay. And in the show notes, I’m going to share with you a little video, a little YouTube video that I created with all the supplements and stuff that you need to heal your body from. COVID it got me through it and I was considered extremely high risk. So if I can get through it, a lot of people can, and I’m not saying everyone can, I know lots of people, myself included who have lost loved ones to COVID and it sucks. It really does suck, but I’m going to also be bold and say that I feel like the hospital protocol is the problem. Do not go to the hospital unless you absolutely have to.

The things they are doing are killing people. But that’s a whole other podcast. So anyway, I sent so much love and blessings to anyone who has had, has now or may in the future have COVID. I promise you it’s not something to be afraid of. It’s just an experience you need to go through. And we all, we all in life have to go through these hard things, these hard experiences getting sick as part of life. And it’s not fun. No, it is not fun, but I want you to know, remember my voice saying this. If you do come down with it, it is not forever. And don’t buy into the fear, just the overwhelming sense of despair. I think that you might feel while you have COVID is not you. It’s the virus, it’s the energy attached to this virus. There is nothing wrong with you. You will get through this and the best part is you will come out so much stronger on the other side. And I send you so much love and light and prayers and blessings, and I love you all. And one last thing, I’m also going to attach in the show notes, the meditation that I did on the beach that day, that was so incredible. That really shifted everything for me. So enjoy, and I will catch you guys on the next episode. Thanks for listening.

Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of my Inner Tiger. Before you go check this out. I don’t know about y’all, but I love smoothies. I’ve been making them every morning for years, and I’m proud to say I’ve finally come up with the perfect recipe that I’m calling my magical healing smoothie recipe. It is packed full of all the nutrients you need to get your day started off right. And it surprisingly never gets old to me. So this is my completely free gift to you. Head on over to myinnertiger.com/smoothie for an easy download. And I’ll also tell you that it has all Amazon links to each of the ingredients I use every single day. So head on over also, if you loved what you heard today, please rate and review this podcast on iTunes. If you’re not already, come follow me on Instagram: @myinnertiger for more tools, tips and inspiration. I can’t wait to connect with you there! Now, go out into this world and manifest some magic! Talk to you soon…


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