Episode 24 – Holiday Hacks Part 2: Family And Boundaries

Many of us will be traveling or hosting holiday gatherings with family this season and as exciting as that is, let’s be honest… family can often be our biggest triggers.

Whether it’s immediate family, extended family or in-laws, you all know how to push each other’s buttons better than anyone!

In an attempt to make your season as bright as possible, this Holiday Hacks (part 2 of 3) episode is dedicated to family and boundaries.

I share tips and tricks for making the most out of your time together to keep things loving and light.

Given the polarity of our society these days, it’s more important than ever to focus on the love we have for each other and learn to find peace amongst our differences.

Happy Holidays!

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Episode Transcript

Welcome to the My Inner Tiger Podcast. I'm your host, Sidney DeCamella. I'm also a wife, mother, Master Life Coach, Course Creator and Spiritual Sherpa. Over the past few years, I have overcome extreme anxiety, depression, addiction, infertility, and chronic illness. And as a result, I've made it my life's mission to teach other women like you that no matter what battle you're up against, you have an Inner Tiger, a power within, to create and manifest whatever your heart desires. If you are tired of being a victim and ready to be the boss of your life, you have come to the right place. Each episode, I'm going to share tools, teachings, and techniques I have used and taught countless other women so that together we can create a life beyond our wildest dreams. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your Inner Tiger is just waiting to be unleashed. I'm so happy. You've tuned in. Let's get started. Hello, gorgeous souls. And welcome back to the minor tiger podcast. Today is episode two of the holiday hack series that I'm doing. If you haven't listened to last week make sure you make it a priority to go listen to that because it's really good. It's part one which talks about prioritizing your health and why that's really important. You know, we go through this holiday season, we have such anticipation for all the joy and this celebration. And then it's just so easy to make decisions that do not benefit us mentally and physically. So making your health, your number one priority every morning, when you wake up and making a commitment to yourself to do that will just set you up to win and minimize your risk of making decisions that you're gonna regret later. So go back and listen to that. It's awesome. And you know what these hacks go are. I mean, they apply to our everyday lives. This is not just something you need to do at Christmas time. These are really good pointers that are extra, extra, extra helpful to know during Christmas. And it's stuff that you probably, you know, it's not rocket science over here. These are things that are pretty common sense, but unless they're brought to the forefront of our brain, we're probably not gonna really think to do them, so that's why I'm talking about 'em in this podcast though, is all to really enjoy our holiday season as much as possible. So today's episode is gonna be about family and touching on family and boundaries. So I have some really good tips to make the most out of your experience with your family during this season, because we all, if we're honest with yourself, we all know that family can be some of our biggest triggers and it's real easy for things to go south quickly when it comes to gathering together for this time of year. So let's talk about some of the tips that I have for making the most out of that wonderful family experience. So number one, we're all most likely either going to travel or have guests come and stay with us. Even if they're not from out of town, we're gonna be getting together for functions and dinners and present openings and partying and all of that. So at some point you're most likely not everyone, but most likely we're all gonna be around our family. It, even if it's not just extended family, it's immediate family because listen, the kids are outta school. We're off of work. We're gonna be in tight quarters, right. And that can get really tricky. So to make sure that you get the most out of your time together, I'm gonna highly recommend tip number one. And that's scheduling some kind of downtime for yourself. Now, this is gonna go hand in hand with prior, prioritizing your health that I talked about last week you know, in the morning is the best time to really give yourself that dedication to yourself. Okay? So, that time where you set yourself up for the day, you do some kind of exercise to help your mental health, to get you still and calm and in the right mindset. And then also some kind of physical activity to just get your, your limp flow in, right? Your energy in the right place, raise your state and all of that stuff. So yes, those things matter, but also, you know, downtime can be really important like in the middle of the day. So let's pretend you're traveling to see a family and you're staying at mom's house or grandma's house or your aunt's house or your cousin's house or whatever. And it's a lot of people and there's a lot of us that need that. You know, we have parts of us that are very introverted and we need that downtime. So make sure or that you're taking time, whether it's the middle of the day, maybe while the kids are sleeping or at some point to just have time for yourself, whether that's meditating, whether that's reading a book, whether it's taking a nap, just give yourself some kind of downtime. Don't plan the whole day to where you're just like then you're all up in each other's hair and Styles are high and, you know, cortisol can get high real quick and you just wanna make sure that you're giving yourself that space. We all need it. All of us humans need it. There's no one who doesn't need it. Okay. So that's tip number one, tip number two. And this kind of goes without, but I wanna remind everyone when you're in these situations, these gatherings are always a good rule of thumb, not to talk about politics or religion. Okay. Now, if you're in a family where everyone feels exactly the same way, and you're exactly on the same exact page about all these things and you know that you are then by all means have at it, right. But nine times outta 10, that is not the case. Not everyone thinks the same way as you do, even though your family. And even, you never really know if, if you're around some distant cousins that you don't see very often, don't just assume that they think the same way you do. So as a rule of thumb, don't bring up politics and religion in conversation. It's just not gonna go well because everyone has their own opinion. And everyone is very, most people are very, very, very up in their ways in that area. Now, if this is the conversation you wanna have another time, maybe on the phone or just another time in life, go for it, but not during the holiday season, not when everything's supposed to be filled with joy and love and laughter just, don't taint it with those conversations. And I listen, I'm very opinionated in my beliefs. My whole family is no matter what way they think. And there's always that aunt that's like, you know, you got your real liberal aunt or your real conservative husband or husband, uncle, or cousin or something. You know, there's always someone in your family who thinks differently than you. And it's no matter what you say about your belief, it's going to push their buttons and make things uncomfortable. So just as hard as it can be. And as much as you feel like you are, right? I mean, come on, look at the climate of our society today. It's so divided. Let's make Christmas time, this holiday season a time to actually come together and find all things we have in common and just let go of all those things that we do not have in common. This is the time to do that. This is the time to see the joy in everything and, and, you know, make memories, make memories because those are the things that last forever. Okay. So just don't do it. <Laugh> And if you get a couple drinks in Y and you start to it coming on, just give that little, you know, that little, that little person in your head, just little secretary, make sure that secretary is watching, like watching, what, what am I trying to say? Like standing guard on your mouth so that it just doesn't happen. Tip number three, if things happen to get heated in some kind of conversation. So let's say someone else brings up politics and religion and it's, you know, getting you heated, then just casually make the comment. You know, I respect what you're saying and change the subject or any, any easy way you want to segue and to something different just don't participate in the conversation. Just, just don't walk away and just don't let it get you worked up. Okay. And if you need to just go stand in the bathroom and do some breathing or something to just calm your nervous system, then by all means, do that again. This really piggybacks on tip number two, just don't let it get to you. Okay. And then if you need to start thinking about, you know, if they've really pushed your buttons, then start to think about the things you love about them. The things that they're really good at, just, you know, don't let it get under your skin. Just make a determined effort to really enjoy your time with your friends and family. Okay. So those are my three tips. And the other thing I wanna add to this, this is something I talk about in my break free from stress and anxiety course, which I'll put a link to more information on in the show notes. But when it comes to boundaries with friends and family, we all have a tendency to want to talk about things that sometimes aren't always that appropriate to talk about with our friends and family. And I like to think about this in buckets. Okay. So you've got two. If you think of your life as like you've got two buckets, you've got your friends and family and you have your tribe. Okay. So really think about before you go interact with the people that you're gonna be with, do they fall into your friends and family bucket most likely, or do they fall into your tribe bucket now, your tribe, those are the people that you spend, you know, day in, day out talking to, or, you know, it doesn't have to be day in, day out, but those are the people who are like on the same page. They're leveling up in life with you. You know, you have the same, you most likely have the same religious and political beliefs, but you have, you know, they're there to push you and help you grow in life. Okay? These are the people we all expand together with. We lock arms with, and we call when really good things happen. Or, you know, we call out when we see them falling off track, that's our tribe. Okay. When it, when you take everyone else, basically you got your friends in your family, those are your O other bucket. Those people, your only job to do, your only job with them is to love them. That's it. There's no need to fix them. There's no need to help them level up in life. Not at all. You're just there to absolutely love them and hold space for them. And at some point in life, if they wanna come and <affirmative>, you know, tag along and they see how great and beautiful you are shining your light and you know, really coming into a place where you love yourself and you're growing and you're expanding and they see that light and they wanna know more about that. Then they'll ask you, but don't go offering it to 'em if they don't want it right. We have a tendency to like to go to events. For example, you know, let's say you go to some big event or some big church conference or something where you're just lit on a fire. And you're like, oh my God, listen to what I learned. This is great. This has really impacted my life. And you come home and you try to share that with your friends and family. And they're just not on the same page as you. And they're like, they don't have the ears to hear it. They're they're not ever gonna be anywhere near, as excited as you are about everything you just learned and experienced. So just remember your only job is to hold space for them and to love them. So keep that in mind, when you're spending time with friends and family this year, friends at parties, or, you know, just social gatherings that aren't part of your tribe, tribe, you know who your tribe is, you know, watch how the conversation goes. Don't throw your opinion in too much. Just be there to have good conversation, laugh and love on 'em and that's all it is. That's your only job. Okay. So I hope that this helps you guys. I really want us all to have this beautiful, beautiful holiday season. You know, last year, a lot of people didn't get together. And so this year, a lot of people are finally doing it because of the virus. You know, everyone's slowly migrating back together, if you will. So make the most of it. And I want you to just really enjoy your friends and family this holiday season. I love you guys and happy holidays. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If you made it to the end of this podcast, there's a really good chance you are on a mission to heal your mind and your body. Did you know that healing, your body truly starts with healing your emotions? So I am living proof of this because as a result of doing some really deep work on my trauma, my mindset, my thought patterns, diet, relationships, energy, and so much more--I was able to get completely off of dialysis and cancel a kidney transplant. Now I know I've said this a million times, but I am telling you, I no longer suffer with overwhelming stress and anxiety on a regular basis. And it used to plague me. The work I've done has created a complete 180 in my life. And so who would I be if I didn't share this with others and how I was able to make such dramatic shifts for myself, that's why I put together the break free from stress and anxiety course, which takes you through the step-by-step process I used to come to a place where I can confidently say I'm fulfilled and genuinely enjoying my life. Now, if you're curious and want to dive deeper into what this course actually has to offer, I put the link in the show notes, or you can go to my website, myinnertiger.com and click on the break-free link in the top right hand corner. Now, if this episode really spoke to you today, please leave your review and tag me on social media @myinnertiger so others can share in this awesome experience too. Okay. My friend, go out into this world and take one more step toward manifesting your dreams because you are so worth it. I will see you in the next episode.