Episode 25 – Holiday Hacks Part 3: The Ideal New Year’s Resolution

Resolutions are always a fun way to get motivated and start the new year off right.

Most of the time we go for a fitness goal which is typically inspired by the extra pounds we put on during the holidays.

In this episode, I recommend changing things up a little this year by committing to learning and practicing SELF LOVE.

At the ROOT of all of our problems is lack of self love (e.g. weight gain, relationships, money, addiction, stuckness, etc.).

We can use diet and exercise to make us temporarily feel better about ourselves but that never accomplishes solid, lasting change in our lives.

In fact, most people resort right back to being overweight because they never tackled the core problem. 

Tune in and learn why I think self love is the ideal resolution and ways you can get started immediately!

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Episode Transcript

Welcome to the My Inner Tiger Podcast. I'm your host, Sidney DeCamella. I'm also a wife, mother, Master Life Coach, Course Creator and Spiritual Sherpa. Over the past few years, I have overcome extreme anxiety, depression, addiction, infertility, and chronic illness. And as a result, I've made it my life's mission to teach other women like you that no matter what battle you're up against, you have an Inner Tiger, a power within, to create and manifest whatever your heart desires. If you are tired of being a victim and ready to be the boss of your life, you have come to the right place. Each episode, I'm going to share tools, teachings, and techniques I have used and taught countless other women so that together we can create a life beyond our wildest dreams. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that your Inner Tiger is just waiting to be unleashed. I'm so happy you've tuned in. Let's get started. Hello, gorgeous souls. And welcome back to the minor tiger podcast. This is holiday hacks part three episode. And if you've been listening, you'll know that two weeks ago, we did holiday hacks part one, which was all about prioritizing your health, holiday hacks part two, which last week was all family and boundaries because we know how easy it is to get triggered around family. There're our biggest triggers sometimes. So I gave some tips and tricks on how to make the most of that experience this season. And so this one is all about new year's resolutions. So I hope that your Christmas or whatever you celebrate was full of love and laughter and light fun, and Maryam bright and all of those things. So now we're heading on into the new year. And how many times have you made a new year's resolution, all pumped about it, super excited, ready to hit the gym, ready to take that diet plan, ready to do all those things that you promised yourself you were gonna do. And by maybe January or maybe February, if you're lucky, if you, if you stuck to it in January, come February, it's old news and you've moved on. You've moved on to new holidays, different problems that you're trying to conquer. <Laugh> it's just, I mean, nine times outta 10, this whole resolution thing doesn't really work. And I think partly that's because we put these high expectations on ourselves that we're just all of a sudden, because of this new year, supposedly we are going to just change all these things in our lives. And that's fun to think about, but just the reality is that it doesn't really happen that way. Right? So I've been racking my brain about the best that we can possibly do to get the most out of our new year's resolution. And what I've come up with, this is my opinion. I wanna just make this suggestion to you is to make our resolution learning to love ourselves. Now, this might sound a little silly and it's like, well, how do I do that? Well, I'm gonna talk to you about some tips on how to do it, but the reason it's so important is because at the core root of a majority, if not all of our problems is lack of self love, believe it or not. So the root of being overweight, lack of self love. I mean, at its core, for the most part, I mean, I'm not throwing everything in this category, but for the majority of people who are overweight, not where they wanna be with their weight, it's generally coming from deep rooted issues of I'm not good enough. And I don't love myself. Even if you don't consciously realize that that's the case, relationship problems at the core root of those are lack of self love. Now, if you can come to a place where you do a lot of work on yourself and you come to where you're like, I am worthy and deserving of all the greatest things in life, which you are, which is your birthright, then you will come to a place where your relationships will start to flourish. And if they don't, then you'll realize that the relationship isn't really serving you in the first place. And then it probably needs to end. Okay, now that can go for a romantic relationship, that can go for friendships, that can go for family, that you just don't get along very well, all our, you know, issues with family. If you have family, that's like toxic and need to cut them out, then by all means, you know, that's a whole nother story, but the point is, if we can learn to love ourselves, then we can see through a lens of, I am worthy and I am deserving of everything good in life. And then we can make better choices about our relationships. Money blocks - allso, the root of that is self-love. I'm not deserving. I'm not worthy. I'm not capable. I don't love myself. I'm not enough. Okay.  Feeling stuck in life. If you're just at a place where you feel stuck at the core of that same thing, not loving yourself, addiction, escapism, all of those things, same thing. So do you see where I'm going with this lack of self love is really at the root of all of our problems. So if we can actually make this, our new year's resolution, like I'm gonna commit to doing, you know, maybe at least, hopefully one thing a day, or maybe two things a day, or maybe, you know, three things a week. If that's what your schedule allows to work on self love, then you're gonna solve all your problems. Okay? So it's like, you know, just trying to lose the weight at the surface level, you know, just hitting the gym, hitting the gym, hitting the gym. Eventually you're, your limiting beliefs about yourself are gonna get in the way and keep you from going to the gym. I mean, this happens to me all the time. I can't tell you how many years. I've tried to hit the gym and have better exercise routines during my new year's resolution. And it never works out. And it's like, God, what can I do? That's going to actually change my life because that's what I wanna do. I wanna always be growing, healing and changing my life. And I know that you do too. If you're listening to this podcast, you definitely do. So. I want you to keep in mind that if you decide to make this resolution, it doesn't happen overnight. And that's important to members because this is a con, this is something that we're probably gonna be working on the rest of our lives, but it takes making a conscious effort to really get there. Now nine out of 10 people, believe it or not, nine out of 10, people do not have a strong sense of self love. It's so sad, but it's true. And unless you've actually done the work, unless you've taken the time and made the choice and the effort to do the work, to learn, to get rid of your living beliefs, to learn, to put yourself first, to learn, to love yourself, to learn, to forgive, to do all the things that will help you in your self-love journey. Then you, you can't possibly be in a place where you can say yes, I definitely love myself. It's just, it's just not possible. Okay. You have to do the work. So what are some tips I can give you to help you on your journey to, to learning, to love yourself more? Okay. Now there's a lot of things and this could go for hours and hours to talk about that. I mean, a lot of what I'm gonna talk about is in my course, the break free from stress and anxiety course, which I'll put a link in the show notes to. So here's just a few of the tips I wanna share with you for learning to love yourself. Okay. Tip number one, mirror work. Now I've talked about this in the, I really love mirror work. I don't know what it is. I just personally really love it every morning when you get up, the first thing you usually do is go to the bathroom. I mean, I think that's pretty standard human practice. So what I do is I go to the bathroom and then I go and I look in the mirror and I say, I love you. And I blow myself a kiss. Now that's just what I do. So, this is something you can pick anything. However you wanna do this mirror work in the morning. And the morning is really good though, because it's like getting that direct eye contact with yourself and just setting you up for like, you know what, you're amazing. You're amazing. And I love you. High five, blow you a kiss. I know Mel Robbins has an amazing new book out called the high five habit. Have not read it, but I've heard her speak about it a little bit. And she talks about mirror work as well, which I love because I do it if I do it too. And then another thing I love to do in the mirror, there's this new song out. And if you're a TikTok person or if you follow, have you seen this TikTok or these reels on social media? What's her name? El may no. Emmy, Emmy, Mel E M M Y M E L L L. I am an artist. She has this amazing song called I am a woman. I love to play it in the morning. It's not always when I first wake up in the morning, but when I'm getting ready for the day, brushing my teeth or whatever, it just really sets me in this really awesome mood. If you haven't heard it, it's so good. It's so good. I will spare you singing the lyrics, but it's like, you know, it's like, I am a woman. I am fearless. I am sexy. I am. Divine's like something like that. It's really amazing. Anyway, that was horrible. But you gotta go check it out. It's a great, great, great song. And I don't know what to tell my male listeners to listen to in the morning, but for me, that song is like spot on. So another thing to do to help with self love is journal work. Now I talked a lot about gratitude journaling in previous podcasts, but journal work is important because it helps you actually get out what you're feeling like. It's like we have all these feelings all day long every day, and we rarely acknowledge what they are. And lots of times we shove them down. Okay. And it's really important for us to feel our feelings and just recognize, notice what we're noticing, recognize what it is we're thinking and feeling. And one way to do that is to just get quiet with a journal anytime during the day. And if you're feeling like however, you're feeling good, bad, whatever, usually bad is a good time or a good reason to do this. Like write down what you're feeling. What are you actually feeling? Are you sad? Are you frustrated? Are you angry? Are you irritated? And then write down why you're feeling that way? Just so that you're aware. And then if we can consciously recognize, like what thoughts are behind that feeling, you know, and change our thoughts, then we can change our state pretty quickly. So write down what it is you're feeling, and then accept that you're feeling that way. Don't shame yourself for feeling that way. All of your feelings are valid, no matter what you are feeling, really, you are feeling your feelings for a reason. There's always a reason. Okay. And it's okay to feel them so accept that you're feeling them. And then just be with them, just sit with them, give yourself time to process them. You know, a lot of times we don't give ourselves the time to process 'em. So they get stuck in our body and then they, you know, get latched onto different parts in our body like organs and, you know, tissue and all of that. And, and then we're holding onto that energy and it gets literally, it gets stuck in our body and can cause all kinds of health problems. So process your feelings, allow yourself, validate those feelings, say it's okay that I'm feeling this way. And I, you know what, I'm gonna allow myself to feel this way, give yourself a minute and then forgive yourself. Okay. So forgive yourself for feeling or saying or thinking or whatever it is, don't hold on to any frustration with yourself. Just learn to let it go. So another thing is forgiveness in general. Okay. So forgiveness, that can be really hard for us. All right. If you're holding onto anger or frustration for any other human, I don't doubt that you have a good reason. Okay. I'm sure that there is a very good reason that you were holding onto any kind of anger and bitterness for some other person. But let me just let you in on a little secret, you holding onto that energy, you holding onto that burden is only affecting. It is not affecting the other person whatsoever. Not at all. The only person being affected by that energy and by those feelings is yourself. So forgiving someone else is not about letting them off the hook. It's letting you off and it's letting you become free of the burden of carrying that lower vibration. Does that make sense? I've done lots of episodes on energy and vibration. So go back and listen to those, but we carry a vibration at all times. Okay. And anything that's at a lower frequency or a lower vibration is gonna hold us back. It's gonna keep us from being fully in alignment with our higher selves. Learning to forgive is such a huge, huge, huge process for just becoming more enlightened, for becoming more in alignment, for increasing your energy and for just being happier. Okay. And the way we judge others is the way we judge ourselves. So if we are holding on to unforgiveness for other people, then we're also holding it on for ourselves. So I like to say it's important to work on forgiving other people first, if it's really hard to forgive yourself and then come back. And once you know that they're deserving of forgivers because literally everyone is deserving of forgiveness. That's part of us being human. We are all worthy of it. Once you can forgive them, it can sometimes be easier to forgive yourself. So letting go of that is going to drastically increase your overall well being. Learning to say, no, tip number four, just say, no, we've all heard that we become yes, people so easy. You know, I don't really know why, why do we do that? So if we can just learn to put ourselves first and say, you know what, no, I'm not going to do that for you because I need to put myself first. That is not selfish whatsoever. Not at all. Okay. And I also, I forgot to mention earlier, let's just nip in the bud. The idea that loving yourself is conceited or selfish. Lots of us grow up with that belief. And I don't know what that's all about at some point in society, that seemed to be this, this situation. But I promise you that is false information. So you can just wipe your hands clean of that and move on because you are 100%. It is 100% your birthright to love yourself. Okay. so we got number four with saying, no, just learn to say no. Put yourself first tip number five, ask for help. Why do we get so stubborn? Sometimes I know I do. We think we have to take on the whole world by ourselves and truly it takes a village. Okay. We can't just function in life, all by ourselves without any help. It's okay to ask for help. People love to help other people love to feel needed. Okay. So take off that, that pride Cape that you've been wearing, that ego Cape that you've been wearing and learn to ask for help and learn to figure out how to reorganize your finances, to outsource something in your life, to make yourself, give yourself more time for yourself, make your a priority and worthy of me time or whatever time it is that you need to do whatever it is that you want to do. That's going to make you feel better because you are worth it. And finally, tip number six, try to spend less time on social media. I know, I know, I know it is so hard and I recognize it all the time. I'm like, God, am I addicted to social media? Like sometimes it really truly feels like an addiction because I just, without even thinking about it will just start scrolling and it's oh, it sucks us in. And it's like the biggest epidemic of our lifetime. Truly. We've got to learn to resist the urge. I'm listening, I'm speaking to myself. It's something I'm really trying to work on because it's just not good for you. It's just not. And if you're like me and you have a business that you need to run on social media, it's even harder. I get that. You have to do it sometimes, especially if you're running a company, but the more you can just put it down. And however you need to do it, if it's an alarm that goes off and says, you know what, I'm gonna put down my phone. However, you need to discipline yourself. You will feel so much better. If you can start to spend less time on social media. I mean, I could talk for days about why that's good. One big thing is just the whole comparison thing. I mean, everyone's putting their absolute best situations online. Like you are seeing the absolute best of their best. That's why they put it on. It's so good. They just wanna share it. Right. The reality of what's going on in everyone's lives is a completely different story. We don't know what's going on. In fact, most of the people I know who are happiest in life, post the least amount on social media. Okay. And so what does that tell you? I mean, if I really do a comparison to everyone that I know really well, I can say that I know like the temperature of where it is, their life right now. If they're posting a whole lot on social media, 99% of the time, it's because they've got a lot of baggage going on at home, but do we see that? No. Does our subconscious that gets sucked into social media see that? No, we're just seeing all this garbage and it's not good for our psychology. Okay. So please start to practice. However you can discipline yourself to put it down and you will start to feel so much better about yourself. And that goes for TV too. Turn it off, just turn it off. And it's not real. None of it's real. Okay. Reality is what is right in front of you every single day. Nature, get out in nature more, spend more time on what is actually meaningful and real. Okay. And now I know I said that that was the last tip, but I forgot. There's one other tip that I really think is so important, and that is be conscious of who you're spending your time with. If there's anyone in your life that when you leave their presence, you do not feel better about yourself. I want you to consider cutting ties. I mean, it doesn't have to mean you cut ties completely. That's totally up to you and, and very subjective, but just be aware that if you have a tendency to continuously hang out with people who bring you down, who decrease your frequency or make you feel worse about yourself, then you are doing yourself a major disservice. So it is so important for increasing your love for yourself to draw boundaries. Okay? Even if it's family, you need to draw a line in the sand to say, this is what I will tolerate in my life. This is the energy I will allow into my space. And this is the energy I will not. And that will be different for everyone, but make a clear boundary in your mind about how you want to protect your time and your energy, because it's precious, it's valuable and it's precious and it deserves all of your attention. Okay? So I hope that all of these things helped you. I wish you an absolutely amazing 20, 22. I want the best for you and your family. And you are so loving and so worthy of learning to love yourself. Learn to put yourself first. I love you. And I wish you a happy new year. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of mine or tiger before you go. I'm curious to know how many times you have tried using affirmations and gotten zero results? I did that for years and then I finally realized how to do it, right. And that changed everything for me. And that's why I created this beautiful daily manifesto, which I'm giving to you at no cost at all. And it comes with detailed instructions on how to actually get the real change that you want. It's basically a really cute and printable list of powerful affirmations, all geared toward helping you manifest more peace in self-confidence. I mean, who doesn't want that? I have one right here in front of me and the wall in front of my desk. And then I have another one in the bathroom in front of my toilet. That way it's a huge part of my daily life. And trust me, it makes all the difference. I am sure you will love it too. So head on over to myinnertiger.com/manifestation, or click the link in the show notes below to download your free copy. And if you loved what you heard today, please, please, please rate and review this podcast on iTunes. And finally, if you're not already, follow me on Instagram @myinnertiger for more tips and inspiration. I can't wait to connect with you there. Now, go out there and manifest your dreams because you are absolutely worthy of everything you desire. I'll catch you in the next episode.